A new YouGov survey explores how long Americans think couples should be together before hitting major milestones, including having sex, moving in together, getting engaged, and getting married.
Two-thirds (65%) of Americans say the minimum amount of time a person should be seeing someone before the first kiss is no more than a month, including 31% who say less than a week.
31% of Americans think the minimum amount of time a couple should wait before having sex is between two and seven months; 22% say it’s between a week and a month. Saying “I love you” is another milestone many Americans think couples should put off for at least two months; 43% think this should happen between two and seven months and 20% think at least eight months.
What about engagement? 53% of Americans think couples should be together for at least a year before taking this step, including 11% who think couples should be together for a minimum of three years before getting engaged.
70% of Americans think a couple should be together for a minimum of one year before getting married, including 21% who think they should be together for at least three years before taking this step.
Buying a home together and having a child are seen by majorities of Americans as best when happening years into the relationship. 48% of Americans say a couple should be together for a minimum of two years before buying a home together, including 18% who think it’s best to wait four years or more. About half (53%) say couples should be together for a minimum of two years before having a child, including 18% who think it’s better not to have a child until being together for four years or more.
Americans who are divorced are more likely than Americans who are married to say a couple should be together for a minimum of one year before having a child (82% vs. 74%), getting engaged (63% vs. 51%), and meeting children from past relationships (23% vs. 13%).
Women are more likely than men to say that a couple should be together for at least a year before having a child (75% vs. 66%), getting engaged (58% vs. 48%), moving in together (55% vs. 41%), and getting a pet together (51% vs. 38%).
Democrats are more likely than Republicans to say a couple should wait a year or longer before meeting children from past relationships (21% vs. 12%). Republicans are more likely than Democrats to say couples should wait at least a year before having sex (17% vs. 7%).
38% of Americans say it’s better to move in together before marriage and 29% say it’s better to do this after getting married. 28% say it doesn’t matter. 27% of Americans say it’s better for a couple to have sex before getting married; the same share (26%) say it’s better after marriage. 40% say it doesn’t matter.
Few Americans (7%) say it’s better to buy a home together before getting married. Two-thirds (67%) of Americans say it’s better to do this after marriage and 19% say it doesn’t matter. Only 2% of Americans say it’s better for a couple to have a child before marriage; 70% say it’s better to do this after marriage and 23% say it doesn’t matter.
Americans 45 and older are more likely than younger adults to say it’s better after marriage rather than before for a couple to buy a home (75% vs. 57%) and have a child (77% vs. 62%).
Among Americans who are married, 39% say it’s better to move in together before marriage and 36% say it’s better to do this after marriage. One-third (32%) say it’s better to have sex before marriage and the same share (32%) say it’s better to do this after marriage. Among divorced Americans, 23% say it’s better to have sex before marriage and 18% say it’s better to do this after marriage; 53% say it doesn’t matter.
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See the results for this YouGov survey
— Carl Bialik and Taylor Orth contributed to this article
Methodology: This article includes results from an online survey conducted on January 30 - February 1, 2026 among 1,104 U.S. adult citizens. Respondents were selected from YouGov’s opt-in panel to be representative of adult U.S. citizens. The sample was weighted according to gender, age, race, education, 2024 presidential vote, 2020 election turnout and presidential vote, baseline party identification, and current voter registration status. 2024 presidential vote, at time of weighting, was estimated to be 48% Harris and 50% Trump. Demographic weighting targets come from the 2019 American Community Survey. Baseline party identification is the respondent’s most recent answer given around November 8, 2024, and is weighted to the estimated distribution at that time (31% Democratic, 33% Republican). The margin of error for the overall sample is approximately 4 percentage points.
Image: Getty (PeopleImages)
