Navigating the social norms of holiday gatherings and gift-giving can be tricky. A recent YouGov survey finds that while Americans agree on certain holiday etiquette rules — for instance, taking off the price tag before giving a gift, or not showing up to gatherings uninvited — other behaviors are far more divisive, including talking about politics or not reciprocating when someone gives you a gift.
Nearly three-quarters of Americans (72%) believe it is unacceptable to show up to a holiday gathering without being directly invited by the host. Somewhat fewer — 59% — say it's unacceptable to bring an uninvited guest. When you are invited to a holiday gathering, 59% say it's inappropriate to not RSVP. The public is divided on whether it's OK to arrive late — 40% say doing so is acceptable, while 44% say it's unacceptable.
More say it's unacceptable (59%) than acceptable (24%) to not offer to contribute food or drinks to a holiday gathering. And while 60% think it's inappropriate to get drunk at a holiday event, larger shares say it's unacceptable to get drunk in other situations we've surveyed — including on an airplane (82% say it's unacceptable) or at a wedding (74%).
Holiday gift-shopping causes stress and anxiety for many Americans, which is likely due in part to variation in what people expect or deem appropriate when it comes to gift-giving.
Most Americans think it is OK to give cash as a holiday gift (91%), but far fewer (58%) say it is acceptable for someone to ask for cash. Many also consider it acceptable to give a gift after the holidays (83%), to wait until the last minute to shop for gifts (74%), to give a gift that is unwrapped (61%), and to re-gift an item (61%). Just 32% say it is OK to give a gift that has a price tag on it.
There is more division on the acceptability of giving a gift that is secondhand or used (49% say it is acceptable and 34% say it is unacceptable), of giving a gag gift instead of a serious one (47% vs. 28%), and of giving a pet as a gift (40% vs. 38%).
While more say it's OK than not OK (47% vs. 28%) to give someone else's child a gift that makes a lot of noise, equal shares say it's acceptable and unacceptable to give a child a toy gun (41% vs. 40%). Men are far more likely to be OK with gifting children toy guns than women are (52% vs. 31%).
Holiday greetings can also be controversial. Most Americans say they prefer the seasonal greeting of "Merry Christmas" (65%) over "Happy Holidays" (26%). And a majority also say they more often hear "Merry Christmas" (62%) than "Happy Holidays" (25%). Among people who aren't celebrating Christmas this year, 42% prefer being greeted with "Merry Christmas," while 35% prefer "Happy Holidays."
Regardless of which festive greeting they prefer, many people believe either is appropriate. Two-thirds of Americans (69%) say it is acceptable to say "Happy Holidays" to someone who celebrates Christmas. Somewhat fewer (54%) say it is acceptable to say "Merry Christmas" to someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas. Among people who aren't celebrating Christmas, a smaller share — 44% — say it is OK to wish someone a "Merry Christmas" who doesn't celebrate the holiday.
Related:
- The share of Americans who think there is a war on Christmas has fallen sharply since 2022
- Unpacking guest behavior: What do Americans think is acceptable at hotels?
- In-flight drama: Where Americans sit on airline etiquette
- Minding their manners: Do Americans follow traditional dining etiquette?
- The unwritten rules of eating out: What Americans think about restaurant etiquette
- I do or don’t: Surveying Americans on wedding etiquette
See the results for this YouGov survey
— Carl Bialik and David Montgomery contributed to this article
Methodology: This article includes results from an online survey conducted December 11 - 13, 2024 among 1,136 U.S. adult citizens. Respondents were selected from YouGov’s opt-in panel to be representative of adult U.S. citizens. The sample was weighted according to gender, age, race, education, 2024 presidential vote, 2020 election turnout and presidential vote, baseline party identification, and current voter registration status. 2024 presidential vote, at time of weighting, was estimated to be 48% Harris and 50% Trump. Demographic weighting targets come from the 2019 American Community Survey. Baseline party identification is the respondent’s most recent answer given around November 8, 2024, and is weighted to the estimated distribution at that time (31% Democratic, 32% Republican). The margin of error for the overall sample is approximately 4%.
Image: Getty
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