Have you ever cut off a relationship with a close relative? Estrangement is common in American families, a new YouGov poll finds: 38% of American adults say they are currently estranged from any of a sibling (24%), a parent (16%), a child (10%), a grandparent (9%), and a grandchild (6%).
Estrangement can start as a one-way or a two-way street. Americans who are estranged from a sibling are about as likely to say they are the person who cut off contact (26%) as they are to say that their sibling did (29%); 19% say the decision was mutual, 5% say someone else cut off the relationship, and 18% say they just grew apart.
People who are estranged from a parent are about twice as likely to say they were the one to cut off the relationship than to say their parent did (38% vs. 20%). The reverse is true for parents who are estranged from a child: 13% say they ended the relationship and 46% say their child did.
There is a similar pattern for estranged grandparents and grandchildren. Grandchildren are more likely to say they ended the relationship than to say their grandparent did (20% vs. 12%). Among grandparents estranged from a grandchild, 14% say they cut off the relationship, while 30% say their grandchild did. Many grandchildren estranged from a grandparent (30%) say that no one ended the relationship and they just grew apart. Many grandparents estranged from a grandchild (35%) say someone else was responsible for the relationship ending.
Would estranged family members ever be willing to reconcile? People who are estranged from a child (70%) or grandchild (66%) are especially likely to say they would consider reconciling with their estranged family member. Fewer of those who are estranged from a sibling (45%), grandparent (40%), or parent (35%) say they could be willing to reconcile.
Family members become estranged for a variety of reasons. To understand the most common reasons, we conducted a survey asking those who said they were estranged from a family member to tell us the reason for the estrangement, in their own words. We narrowed these responses to 16 reasons, which we inquired about in a series of follow-up surveys.
The most common reasons for estrangement among siblings are personality conflicts (29%), lies or betrayal (29%), and manipulative behavior (26%).
People who are estranged from a parent are most likely to cite manipulative behavior (34%); physical, emotional, or sexual abuse (34%); and lies or betrayal (31%). Parents who are estranged from a child most often say it is because of lies or betrayal (24%), conflicting values or lifestyle (21%), and fallout from divorce (20%).
Many people who say they are estranged from a grandparent (45%) say at least one of the causes is not among the 16 reasons included in the survey. Of the options offered, the largest shares say estrangement from a grandparent was due to conflicting values or lifestyle (16%), manipulative behavior (14%), or growing apart (13%). Grandparents who are estranged from a grandchild are most likely to say the reason is because of conflict with other family members (30%).
For each of the types of family members asked about in the survey, men and women are about equally likely to be estranged from them. But their reasons sometimes differ. Women are more likely than men to say that manipulative behavior is one cause of their estrangement from a parent (40% vs. 27%) and grandparent (21% vs. 7%). Mothers are more likely than fathers to say that personality conflicts are a reason for their estrangement from a child (24% vs. 12%) and less likely than fathers to cite fallout from divorce (14% vs. 25%).
— Carl Bialik contributed to this article
Related: All on the family: ties, proximity, and estrangement
See the results for this YouGov poll
Methodology: The poll was conducted online among 4,395 U.S. adult citizens on four separate 2025 surveys conducted July 24 - 27, July 25 - 27, July 28 - 30, and July 29 - August 1. A random sample (stratified by gender, age, race, education, geographic region, and voter registration) was selected from the 2019 American Community Survey. The sample was weighted according to gender, age, race, education, 2024 presidential vote, 2020 election turnout and presidential vote, baseline party identification, and current voter registration status. 2024 presidential vote, at time of weighting, was estimated to be 48% Harris and 50% Trump. Demographic weighting targets come from the 2019 American Community Survey. Baseline party identification is the respondent’s most recent answer given around November 8, 2024, and is weighted to the estimated distribution at that time (31% Democratic, 32% Republican). The margin of error for the overall sample is approximately 2%.
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