While most Americans — 89% — have gone on a date, there is significant variation in the number of first dates that adults in the U.S. have been on, as well as the types of dating experiences they've had. A new YouGov survey finds that many people desire to go on dates more often than they do, and are interested in trying out new date ideas. Most people have enjoyed at least one great date in their lives, though half have had a terrible one. For first-date etiquette, most agree that certain behaviors — including rudeness to staff or excessive phone use — are unacceptable, while the appropriateness of topics such as past relationships and politics is divisive.
Only 11% of Americans say they've never been on a date, including 21% of people who are single. Most adults (62%) have been on between one and 15 first dates, while 14% have been on more than 15. Older adults, married people, and people in a relationship have been on a larger total number of first dates than younger and single people, on average.
Most Americans don't go on dates as often as they would like to. 39% of adults say they rarely or never go on dates — including with their current spouse or partner, if they have one. Among people who aren't in a relationship, 69% say they rarely or never date. Among people in unmarried relationships, only 20% say they rarely or never go on dates, and among married people, 19% say they do. But when asked about their desires, just 16% of Americans overall and 30% of single Americans say they would prefer to rarely or never go on dates. Married people, as well as people in non-marital relationships, are far more likely than single people to regularly go on dates and to desire regular dates.
Regarding the specific dating experiences they've had, more Americans say they've gone on a wonderful date (80%) than say they've had a horrible one (50%); 47% have experienced both. One-quarter (25%) say they've been stood up on a date, but only 17% say they've stood someone else up.
One-third of Americans (35%) say they've had sex on a first date, including a larger share of men (41%) than women (29%). Women, on the other hand, are more likely than men to say they've had a terrible date (57% vs. 44%) and to have gone on a date with someone they weren't attracted to (44% vs. 32%).
Americans 45 and older are more likely than younger adults to say they've had both wonderful and terrible dates, and to say they've gone on a double date or a blind date. Younger adults are more likely to have gone on a date with someone they've met online.
What types of dates have Americans been on? Of 30 date experiences asked about — a list compiled with the help of an open-ended question from an earlier survey — the largest shares say they've been on a date that involved dinner or lunch at a restaurant. Majorities also say they've had a date that included watching a movie at home or in a movie theater. Other common dating experiences include going to a park, a fair or carnival, or the beach.
Vast majorities of people who have experienced the various types of dates asked about in the survey say that they would like to do each of them again. One common dating experience is somewhat of an exception, however: 38% of people who have gone on a date to a bar or club say they would not like to repeat this experience.
Among people who haven't had each of the date experiences asked about, the largest shares say they would like to go on a date that involves watching a sunrise or sunset, visiting the beach, or stargazing.
How a person acts on a first date can make or break relationship prospects — and not all Americans agree on what is appropriate behavior.
First-date behaviors that large majorities agree that they consider to be generally unacceptable include being dismissive to service staff, criticizing the other person's order, frequently looking at your phone, encouraging the other person to get drunk, and arriving late without notice.
Some of the most divisive first-date behaviors — meaning they come the closest to splitting opinion evenly about their acceptability — are talking about past relationships, politics, your medical conditions, marriage or having kids. About half of people think it is OK to talk about religion on a first date, but very few say it's acceptable to discuss recent dates with other people, or sexual topics. And even fewer say it is appropriate to talk about yourself on a first date without asking questions about the other person.
Roughly three-quarters of Americans (74%) think it's unacceptable to get drunk on a first date — the same share as said in a previous poll that doing so as a wedding guest is unacceptable. Other polls have shown that more Americans believe getting drunk is unacceptable for airplane passengers (82%), but somewhat more think it's OK for guests at holiday parties (60%).
Women are more likely than men to view most of the first-date behaviors asked about as unacceptable. That's especially the case for inviting the person you're on a date with to spend the night, talking about sexual topics, and getting drunk.
Older adults are more disapproving than younger ones about potential first-date behavior. Compared to adults under 45, older Americans are more likely to say it is inappropriate for someone on a first date to talk about sexual topics, to get drunk, and to ask about the other person's income.
See related:
- I do or don’t: Surveying Americans on wedding etiquette
- No talking and no texting: Americans' rules for movie theater etiquette
- Holiday etiquette: How Americans handle gifts, gatherings, and greetings
- Unpacking guest behavior: What do Americans think is acceptable at hotels?
- In-flight drama: Where Americans sit on airline etiquette
- Minding their manners: Do Americans follow traditional dining etiquette?
- The unwritten rules of eating out: What Americans think about restaurant etiquette
See the results for this YouGov survey
— Carl Bialik and David Montgomery contributed to this article
Methodology: The poll was conducted online among 2,221 U.S. adult citizens on two separate surveys from January 14 - 17, 2025 and January 15 - 20, 2025. A random sample (stratified by gender, age, race, education, geographic region, and voter registration) was selected from the 2019 American Community Survey. The sample was weighted according to gender, age, race, education, 2024 presidential vote, 2020 election turnout and presidential vote, baseline party identification, and current voter registration status. 2024 presidential vote, at time of weighting, was estimated to be 48% Harris and 50% Trump. Demographic weighting targets come from the 2019 American Community Survey. Baseline party identification is the respondent’s most recent answer given around November 8, 2024, and is weighted to the estimated distribution at that time (31% Democratic, 32% Republican). The margin of error for the overall sample is approximately 3%.
Image: Getty
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