The Daily Show and YouGov asked Americans how good they think each presidential candidate would be at performing various tasks, how much they’d trust them to do basic chores, and how much more enjoyable activities would be if they were involved.
One in five (21%) Americans say Trump could record a good rap song, one of the few measures in our survey on which the president beat his challenger. Republicans are more than four times as likely as Democrats to think Trump could record a decent rap track (42% to 10%).
By contrast, just 15% of Americans think Democratic nominee Joe Biden could write a hot hook. Even among Democrats few (23%) think Biden could give Dr Dre something to worry about, while just 13% of Republicans say so.
Moving from the spoken word to the written, nearly half (47%) of Americans have faith in President Trump’s capacity to teach a child to read. While nearly three-quarters (74%) of Republicans trust the president to walk a kid through their ABCs, just 14% of Democrats feel the same way. Americans overall put about as much faith (48%) in Biden to help run a kid through some Dr Seuss, with about three-quarters (76%) of Democrats and a quarter (26%) of Republicans in agreement.
Much has been written in recent weeks about the president’s taxes -- including that he reportedly paid just $750 in income tax in 2017. Despite such impressive tax minimizing skills, only a third (34%) of Americans would trust Trump to do their taxes. Seven in 10 Republicans think their president would also make a good accountant, while just one in nine (11%) Democrats feel the same way.
Overall, slightly more Americans trust Biden (38%) to do their taxes than Trump, and political splits are similar: 65% of Democrats and 16% of Republicans would hand over their tax documents to the former vice president.
Once you and your chosen presidential candidate have finished filing your taxes, you may want to kick back and enjoy their improbable company.
If you fancy a dinner and a movie, about three in 10 (31%) say Trump would make cooking dinner more enjoyable - assuming he didn’t just break out the silverware and order a KFC - while slightly more say so of Biden (36%). About two in five Americans trust either Trump (37%) or Biden (39%) to choose a movie.
If that fails to relax you then maybe a marijuana edible would help loosen you and your presidential guests up. A third (33%) Americans who say they would ever take edibles say tripping with Trump sounds more fun than if he weren’t there; more than half (54%) of Republican stoners and roughly a quarter (26%) of Democrats agree. About two in five (41%) who are willing to eat a cannabis treat say getting blazed would be better with Biden (including 52% of Democrats and 32% of Republicans).
But what if you woke up from your edible session to a house newly empty of both snacks and your romantic partner? Could the two presidential candidates help fix your broken heart, and get you back in the dating game?
A quarter (26%) say Trump would be good at helping you get over someone, though Republicans are about six times as likely as Democrats to think Trump would be a good personal consoler-in-chief (56% vs. 9%). About a third (35%) of Americans think Biden would help you rebound from a breakup, and the political split is narrower: 57% of Democrats and 19% of Republicans agree.
Getting you back in the dating game might be trickier. Unsurprisingly, few Americans (23-25%) think the septuagenarians would be much use at setting them up a Tinder profile. That being said, they are more confident in the candidates’ wingman skills, with 34-35% trusting their ability to talk them up to a prospective partner.
Methodology: Total sample size was 1,135 adults. Fieldwork was undertaken October 23 – 26, 2020. The survey was carried out online. The figures have been weighted and are representative of all US adults (aged 18+).